KP nuts

Keven Pietersen’s ever increasing ego is now beginning to affect the other England players, say sources close to the South African husband of pop star Jessica Taylor.

According to our fictional source, the recent furore involving Peter Moores is just the tip of the iceberg. “When KP was born in 1980, his ego was that of a normal new-born baby, but due to unforeseen circumstances it has increased exponentially and doesn’t look like it’s going to stop any time soon.”

The source went on to say, “The latest casualty was Mick (Michael Vaughan). It was horrible, there was Mick batting in the indoor nets with the other average England boys and Colly (Paul Collingwood) comes trundling in and throws one up in the air. Just as Mick is about to smash it, all the lights disappear and he takes it in the face…. KP’s ego had only gone and blocked all the light out, han’t it!?”

This is the latest of a string of incidents associated with the ex-England, South African captain. These incidents are alleged to have included the infamous break up of Liberty X and the televised show ‘Battle of the Egos’, which lead to the resignation of Carol Vorderman from Countdown.