Have a look at these!
"Punched in the guts" Is this your club's champion bowler, mid-delivery stride? Or is it a plastic re-enactment of that famous photo from the Spanish Civil war, showing an unlucky ant-fascist getting shot?
"Cricketers in a half shell"
Ha ha! Steve won one like this a couple of years back. It's monstrous. It fails completely and utterly in its efforts to look all "august" and impressive. (At least Steve was unable to break the bat off this one.)
Good God man! I'm having nightmares about this. Imagine those sickly, decaying hands reaching up through the mantel piece! Those ghouls are after my collection of "Most Improved Player" trophies!