Thursday, 25 June 2009

Even more on plastic trophies

Have a look at these!

"Punched in the guts" Is this your club's champion bowler, mid-delivery stride? Or is it a plastic re-enactment of that famous photo from the Spanish Civil war, showing an unlucky ant-fascist getting shot?

"Cricketers in a half shell"
Ha ha! Steve won one like this a couple of years back. It's monstrous. It fails completely and utterly in its efforts to look all "august" and impressive. (At least Steve was unable to break the bat off this one.)

"The claw"
Good God man! I'm having nightmares about this. Imagine those sickly, decaying hands reaching up through the mantel piece! Those ghouls are after my collection of "Most Improved Player" trophies!

Thursday, 18 June 2009

More plastic trophies

Steve has started me off on plastic trophies.

I'm really not a fan of those plastic trophies and I will be trying to make sure they are banished from our end of season awards booze ups / dinners for evermore.

Since his post, I've been rummaging around the house trying to find my stash of plastic past glories. There are two of which I am particularly proud. Two of these deformed, plastic cricketers represent an achievement that very few of you can match.

Here's a photo of them:

You won't be able to read the inscription, so I'll repeat it here. On the right, is my award for the 2004 cricket season. On the left is my award for 2007. The remarkable thing is that BOTH awards are to mark my achievements at the same club as ... MOST IMPROVED PLAYER.

It just goes to show what you can achieve, if you start from a low enough base level. Year 1: I managed to hold the bat the right way round, and only swallowed two metal spikes from my boots. Year 2: I scored 15 legitimate runs off my backside and managed to limit my trademark "beamer" to one an over. Fantastic.

I'm taking a bit of a slump in form this season. It's all part of a plan. I CAN and WILL win this award again!

Monday, 8 June 2009

Injury Update

Over winter we anticipated a bit more carnage in winter nets. As it happens .... er.... nothing much happened. So we got to the first game of the season in fine fettle.

Something was up on Saturday though. The Netherlands had just beaten England. T
here was definitely something in the air as we drove over to Alloa for our ESCA Division 4 game ...

1. When we kicked off, the skipper wasn't on the park 'cause he was running late on the trip from Edinburgh.
2. Third ball - our keeper gets a lifter in the mush and is off to A&E for some stitches in the face.
3. After 4 overs, our opening bowler pulls up with a muscle strain and is limping through slips for the rest of the game.
4. In about the 15th over - one of our key all-rounders attempts a catch in the covers, and splits the skin on his right hand. Off to A&E for some stitches.
5. Two overs later - the skipper staves his thumb in the covers. He'll be unable to open the batting.
6. In the 30th over - our stand-in w/k (and other opening bat) staves the middle finger of his left hand. He'll also be unable to open.

We don't have subs.

As it happens - we very nearly chased down the 250 they put on. We got to 243 all out (8 wickets). Cow Corner's very own Steve Colvin got 102 not out.

I survived unscathed, though there's still that terrible chafing on my left heel ... And what's left of my dignity took a battering in my 1-over bowling spell.